matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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