3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
