I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So many bounce houses so little time
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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