Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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