Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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