Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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