The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
