I just saw a hot homeless man
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
