what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
