Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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