Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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