yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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