I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
