i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
