My nipple is on Facebook.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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