There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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