His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
