This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
