My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
