When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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