Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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