I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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