Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
