It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can you bring me the toilet please
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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