I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
