u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
