Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
how drunk are you?
Several
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
