Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am naked and annoyed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
