Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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