drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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