My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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