life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
