i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
