you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
