Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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