You're so nebulous sometimes
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
