I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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