i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
