I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
