Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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