Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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