but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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