I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Don't make out with my wife yet
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
