Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
