Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
