No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
