it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
