Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
