Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize