I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
