so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think i have herpe
just one?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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