you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
