ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
