I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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