is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
