youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
