I think I am morally bankrupt
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
