Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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