I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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