Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
