ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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