I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
